today is the first time i am feeling so pissed off. so fuckingly sad. so much so for frens huh. i did like to shoot the exact word back to you. all this while here silly me go thinking finally made a fren that shares similar interest with me. even thought i back out on most, cause i wan a grasp of reality. shared so many happy memories, yet maybe those times to you were just a torture huh. cause u tot yourself as a wad? substitute fren? where did u find that shit? cant i have more than one besties? in case you r wondering, u r in that list. but everything u had said makes me feel that u think i treat u badly, i am using u, only coming to find u when i needed u. did i? nv once in my mind did u become a substitute. i am seriously hurt n shocked when i saw u wrote that. wad am i to u exactly? all this while? a burden that u wanna throw away. so like u say u jus slowly fade away? and all this time u actually do not really wan me as a fren? while u put on a happy happy expression? u said about this, dun use your name when i am meeting someone. how on earth am i suppose to know that u do not like it when u didnt even say anything? i thought that u were my fren? and friends tell one another things that they do not like. and now u blame it onto me. my fault. i did ask u before hand, asking is it fine. ask u if i can go to your house after that. now end up i am the bad guy? i qian zhe ni de bi zhi zou? if u dun like something, say it. and i tot i was your friend, and i opened up to u. and i tot u would too. but turns out i am just hoping for too much. and for your information, i only told my mother your name once, and that's all. but all in all, sorry for putting u on the line where if anything happens to me u r the one with responsibilty. but u know, u r thinking too damn much. just becus i used your name, u said that u r a substitute fren. i used your name becus i know u and u R my fren and i felt that u will be willing to help. is that so bad of a thing? from the start, all i am worrying about is losing contact with u, becus u are my fren and i do enjoy going out walk walk like mad with u. hence i call, sms, msn. and i do realise that u r studying real hard so i might not contact u often as while. but i guess your wouldnt care less rite? since you didnt even bother returning my calls, and even state that u wan to fade away?

i tell you things is only for two simple reason, i trusted you, and you were my gd fren. and now u turn one round shoot me back? friends tell one another things, dont they? and when i seriously need ppl to talk to, i honestly tot tat u will be there as well. and wad u said really insulted me. i told you things becus i have nobody else to tell? wad are you implying? i have no friends except u? is that what u are trying to hint? if it is, i think i really made a wrong choice to consider you as a fren, even for a single minute, not to say this few months. how can u say that i tell u becus of the tootpid reasons u gave? if from the start you think of it that way, then just tell me, and i will clarify it to you. if u do not like so many things about me, then just shoot it to me and i will just pissed off from your sight.

i do not need your apology, becus even if u say sorry, nth of everything can be changed. and well, going exactly as u wanted it, from this moment onward i will disappear from your sight. like as you said, u wanted to just fade away. but i am not like you, i dun enjoy being a shadow of ppl, and only when ppl look behind then they realise that u are there. i say goodbye. i take initative. and heres my advice as your ex-classmate, take it or leave it.
when u pass your exams next year and got into your desired course, take initative to talk to ppl. maybe i am wrong, but the past two years, u were super quiet. i do not even know which group u belong to in class. to tell the truth, i didnt know u were there until year 4. and please dun say i am insulting you. i am jus telling the truth from an outsider view. if you cant take that much, i dunno wad to say. but face it, it's sort of the truth. make yourself known. open up or else people wont know how to open up to you too.

that's all i have to say to you. goodbye, my ex-classmate.