Hello blog, its been more than awhile. Time flies, and 24 hours a day dont seems to be enough.

Spend the last few hours reading my previous blog entries. Some memories are refreshed,  while other events seem like they arent kept in any of my brain cells. Its kind of fun, looking back at the past, seeing how the old me thinks and write. The present me had been through alot more compared the the naive me. I used to look at the world in a very pessimistic way, and had all the wrong priorities. My old mind circulates its thoughts around itself, forever thinking why people ignored me, and why am I not like my other friends, whose smiles are so radiant. Turns out that the answer to these questions are very simple; the fact that i am thinking of such qns is the answer to my misery. I care and think too much into all the small little things people did or did not do. But well, eventually I learn my lesson. I learnt to let go, to be optimistic, and when you are happy that's all that matters isnt it? Who cares if person A ignored you? Or person B failed to call you out on an outing? There are more important things in life to ponder about. A pat on the back for myself for growing up, good job.

2 months ago, I went through a procedure which changed my outlook on life. I was diagnosed with mitral valve prolapse since I was 13 years old. Its a heart condition whereby the valves did not close properly. In my case, I had a little back flow of the blood as well. Last July, my cardiologist informed me that the back flow of blood had became severe and requires surgical intervention. I waited til November and gotten an open heart surgery done. The cardiothoratic surgeon repaired my valves. Apparently my preop condition were worser than I thought, I was in a state whereby I can experience sudden death at anytime with no warnings. Imagine being told that you were walking on a road full of timebombs and you didnt even realise it. That scares the hell out of me. To make things worse, after the surgery, I was told by my surgeon that my valves are very soft. This frightens me, I kept thinking if this will affect how long the repair can last, but only time can tell. The doctors cant give me a definite answer either. Been telling myself not to worry about something you cant solve.
The one thing that I achieve from this surgery is my appreciation towards life. Life is seriously too short. A year passes by in a blink of an eye. And we just began 2014 but its already February. We cant grasps onto life as it takes on no form, but life is all around us. We live in it, every single second. With seconds turning into minutes in the speed of a bullet train, its time to start to open my eyes,  and appreciate everything around me, including myself. Humans are fragile creatures, we never know how and when we are going to depart from this earth. So why think about it? Enjoy this moment, as every moment i am breathing meants that I'm alive.